Until The Clock Strikes Midnight
by TaylorxxTwihard
Summary: Eclipse and Breaking Dawn never happened. Edward refuses to turn Bella. Her life is slowly slipping away from her. Will Edward make the right choice? Hopefully he can make up his mind before it's too late.
1. 1: The Beginning

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn. Stephenie Meyer is the one to thank for that!**

**Hello Readers! This is one of my many new stories that im working on! I hope you like it! Edward is slightly OOC in this chapter... Read and Review! Enjoy!**

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It hurt to breathe. My entire body ached. I was slowly losing my fight against death. I didn't understand how this was happening. It wasn't supposed to be like this! I was supposed to graduate high school, Carlisle would change me, and then I would live eternity with Edward. My beautiful, strong, ice cold, sparkly, vampire boyfriend Edward.

Instead, here I am, lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to some stupid machines, in the master bedroom of the Cullen house, and withering away until death claimed me. When I repeatedly refused to marry Edward he threw a fit and threatened his family that he would go to the Volturi if they tried to change me. That was the first time I left Edward, but of course I came back running.

"Edward! What the hell?! Stop breaking things! You're such an idiot!" He threw the couch through the wall. Great. Now he's just acting like a two year old with super strength! UGH! Esme was staring at Edward with wide eyes. I felt sorry for. Her son was breaking nearly everything he could get his hands on.

"Isabella Marie Swan! I am not the idiot! You are!" I flinched. This was getting out of hand. No, this had gotten out of hand an hour ago when he destroyed his room and almost snapped the staircase in half.

"You," He continued, "you think you can refuse to marry me and go behind my back expecting Carlisle to change you?! Especailly when i told you, many times i might add, that it will never happen! Stupid! Reckless! Insane! Did you even think of how this would affect me? Do you enjoy my pain? You will not become a monster! You will not live this life! You will go to college, grow old, and die! Just like you should!" I cringed away from him. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. He had really planned on staying with me until I was wrinkly and using a walker. How sweet.

I glared at him. I wish I could at least put a dent in his face or something. I hated being a weak human! When I'm a vampire I'm going to do some serious damage! I was hurt, annoyed, and furious at the same time, not a good combination.

"Edward, what has gotten into you? You're not even acting like yourself! I will not marry you! Get over it! You're pathetic with your melodramatic temper tantrums! God! Get a grip! Be a man! I hardly recognize you!"

He was the one who cringed this time. My voice went from whispering to screaming at the top of my lungs. His expression was pained, but immediately transformed into outrage. This was not getting us anywhere.

"Pathetic? No, I am not pathetic. You going behind my back and demanding to be changed into a monster is pathetic! You're a stupid human! That's all you are!" Suddenly i didn't know who I was looking at in front of me.

This man was not my Edward. He was a stranger. A stranger who had just shattered my heart into a million pieces. I could feel the hole slice open, pieces crumbling and shattering. I had to get out of here.

I turned to run out of the house, but I stopped when I saw his family. Jasper was on his knees, his eyes squeezed shut, and he screamed in agony. Alice was whispering in his ear and trying to sooth him. Emmett looked as if he was going to tear Edward to pieces. Rosalie seemed worried about Edward. Esme kept looking from me to Edward, horrified. Carlisle was glaring at him.

"I can't handle this! God! The pain! Alice help her! Somebody fix her! Please!" Jasper was screaming and gripping his hair. My eyes grew wide. I was the on causing him pain. Alice looked up at me from her spot on the floor next to Jasper. I started shaking my head and ran for the door.

Edward had let me go. The next morning I was on my way to his house and the next thing I knew he was running next to my truck. I had pulled over and we both started apologizing. I cried half the day and Edward still hasn't forgiven himself.

I shifted uncomfortably in the bed and winced. I was constantly in pain these days. The cancer was spreading from my knee to my thigh. Sure, I had options. I just wanted to stop fighting and let the cancer take me. About two years ago I was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma bone cancer. The doctors had caught it early and I had to take chemo and radiation therapy.

My life was pure hell those few months. Of course, Edward was by my side every step of the way. I was horrified that he had to see me puking my guts out, but I was grateful for his love and support. Even if he had refused to give me the only thing I had ever asked from him, I still loved him and I had needed him more than ever.

When Jacob found out he was almost in hysterics. He had apologized and our friendship grew stronger. He was there during a few of my treatments and moral support. He had made it just a little easier to deal with. Edward and Jacob had put their differences aside, but only for my benefit.

Renee came down and stayed with me from the very beginning until I was in remission. Phil had come a few times too. Charlie and Renee were constantly talking about me when I pretended I was asleep. They obviously thought they knew what was best for me. Charlie still didn't like Edward and Renee was so confused that she didn't know if she should trust him or not. In the end, Edward had earned their trust and respect.

Once I had gotten over the cancer I began to live a normal life again. Well, at least the way it was before. I finished my senior year and graduated. Since Edward wouldn't budge on his choice to change me I had decided to go to Dartmouth. Renee had flown to Forks just to help me pack and do our partings. Saying goodbye to my parents was hard, but saying goodbye to Jacob was much worse. Things didn't end to well between us though.

Jake was bashing Edward and I was fuming. When he kissed me I punched him in the face and all I got was a broken hand, not hurting him at all. We didn't talk at all after that. I was busy with school and Edward, but I never forgot about that day.

My not-so-normal life came to a screeching halt when I started getting pains in my left knee. At first, it was just a little shooting pain every once in awhile and then it got worse.

I dumped my bag on the couch as I walked into me and Edward's room. Everyone else was occupied and I was exhausted from my day. I stumbled over to the bed, but I hit my left knee on the bed frame. I wasn't prepared for the pain I was about to endure.

I screamed and fell to the ground as hot tears streamed down my face. Before anything else could happen Edward burst through the door, panicked. He knelt beside me and cradled my face in his hands.

"Bella! Bella, what happened?! What hurts?" His eyes roamed my body looking for a wound. He was probably searching for a deep gash or a broken bone.

Carlisle came in and knelt on the other side of me. He ran his hands gently along my legs and when his cold hands made contact with my knees I started screaming. Carlisle and Edward stared at me with wide eyes.

"Bella, we need to know what happened." I could see the worry deep in Carlisle's eyes and he continued, "Your knee may be fractured and I'm going to have to take you to the hospital and run some test, but you have to tell me what happened first."

"I- i… I hit my knee on the bed frame." My knee was throbbing and I whimpered when Carlisle touched my knee.

Edward's face twisted into pain ad he had a silent conversation with Carlisle. How could this be that bad? I just hit my knee on the bed. It was probably just a fracture or something and I was being a wimp. Carlisle looked me straight in the eyes.

"I think…that possibly…the cancer might be back." Edward held me tighter and I couldn't control the sobs. I had been put through enough haven't I? Cancer. Again. I had a feeling death was going to win this time.

A light knock at the door startled me and I jumped. The seething pain shot from my knee and up through my thigh. I bit down on my tongue so hard that I tasted blood and a loud whimper still managed to escape my mouth.

Edward was by my side in less than a second. His face was full of concern and pain, as always. He held my hand and the pain stopped.

"I'm so sorry! This is my fault. Is it bad? Do you want more morphine?" He searched my face for an answer and I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, stop this! Not everything is your fault. I was just thinking and you startled me a little. This is a normal every day kind of thing for me. Relax." I lifted my head and kissed his cheek. He smiled a small, wary smile and nodded. His eyes were a shade of light topaz and honey mixed, my favorite. He had just gotten back from hunting. I hated it when he went hunting. It was the worst time for me, but I would never let him know that.

"Is there anything I can get you? Do you want anything?" He looked around the room quickly and ten focused on my face again. I hesitated before answering.

"Yes." I said simply. His brows furrowed in confusion. He had obviously noticed my hesitation.

"What is it?" I sighed.

"Edward, you know what I want. It's the only thing you won't give me." I looked up at him, my eyes pleading.

His jaw clenched and he let go of my hand stepping away. He stared out the window for a few minutes before closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. After a very long five minutes he turned to face me with no sign emotion on his face.

"No." His voice was firm. I sighed. I knew this would only lead to an argument.

"Whatever. This is all just so stupid. I'm lying on my death bed for crying out loud! I'm just going to die anyways! You're just making things harder for everyone!" I glared at him. He was still staring at me with that blank expression, but he had flinched. I was making progress.

"Isabella, we have discussed this numerous times. It always turns into an argument. My answer has always been no and it is not going to change. You should save your energy." He continued to stare me down with his "emotionless Edward" glare. It was annoying. I wish I could hit him in the face without hurting myself. Maybe Emmett would do it for me.

"Save my energy for what, dying? Ha! Good one. Maybe death will come faster if I use my energy up faster! Think of what you are doing to your family, Edward. Esme will be heartbroken. Carlisle will be disappointed. Alice might never forgive you. Emmett will want to smash you to pieces. Oh wait! I forgot! You plan on getting yourself killed anyways so maybe that would workout for you! We are both going to be missed and your family is going to be hurting, and it's all because of your stupid stubbornness! God, Edward! I don't understand you anymore!"

He flinched at the remarks about his family, but he still had on his perfect little mask that I hated so much. I slammed my fist on my thigh in frustration. That was probably the most stupid thing I had done all day. I screamed and crumpled over as the pain cut like glass back and forth in my thigh and down to my knee.

Edward rushed to my side and grabbed my hand again, but I was too angry at him. I tried to push him away or at least let him know I was trying to, but that was another stupid decision. The pain increased and traveled down my leg to my ankle. I screamed every time the pain shot through my leg.

"Damn it! Bella, stop! Calm down!" He was practically yelling at me. The pain was worse than ever, but I still struggled against him and I wasn't sure why. Loud sobs came from my mouth and my entire body was shaking. This only increased the pain. I gave up against Edward and let him hold me.

"Carlisle!" Edward was stroking my hair and trying to calm me down, but my body continued to shake violently.

It felt as if a bone in my leg had snapped. I shrieked in agony and my body thrashed. I had never felt this amount of pain. Even when James had broken my leg it didn't hurt as much.

"Edward! She needs to be still, calm her down! I don't want anything else to break!" Carlisle's voice was frantic.

Somehow Edward had managed to calm me down. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks as he began to kiss them away. Carlisle must have given me the morphine because I felt sleepy. My eyes drooped shut and I tried to fight it.

"Stop fighting it Bella. You're exhausted." I nodded. He was right. I was tired of fighting. Maybe this would be the end. Maybe I wouldn't wake up. I wasn't ready yet though. My eyes flew open. I couldn't leave like this.

"Kiss me, please" My voice trembled. I stared at his face, studying every inch. My Edward. So beautiful and he was all mine. I closed my eyes, waiting.

He cupped my face with his hands and paused briefly before placing his cold lips to my warm ones. He kissed me passionately and I returned it with as much passion as I could in this state. When he pulled away I couldn't open my eyes to take one last look, they were too heavy. I smiled as much as I could and felt the blackness trying to pull me under, but I had to cling to these last few moments.

"This isn't goodbye my Bella. You're going to wakeup. I promise." His voice faltered.

"Edward?" It was barely a whisper.

"Yes, love?" He still held my face in his hands. I was going to miss this.

"Love…you." The darkness was winning and now I was ready. I just hope he heard it.

I felt him press his forehead to mine and I noticed he was trembling.

"I love you too. More than you will ever know. Bella…" His voice trailed off as I heard loud sobs.

The sobs were shaking the bed. My angel! My angel was crying! No! I couldn't leave him like this. I tried to fight it, but it was too late.

The darkness had taken over. I went under and I was never to return.

**A/N: So did you like it? Don't worry Bella didn't die! I'm not that cruel! She just thinks that she is and she's hoping to, a little bit. I'm working on chapter two right now. Review please?! The more reviews i get, the faster I'll post chapter two! Thanks for reading! review...?**


	2. 2: Help Me, Love Me

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and the rest of the series!**

**So i see everyone enjoyed the first chapter! Thank you to all who have reviewed! Now go enjoy yourselves! :D**

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"Edward, I don't have much time left. I'm dying! I need you, please!" I was crying by now. I couldn't help it. He wouldn't give me what I wanted and it was killing me, literally.

"I refuse to love a monster! I asked you to marry me and you said no! Because of that I won't give you anything except what you deserve!" He screamed in my face. I felt the hole reopen as shards of glass pierced my heart from every angle. I clutched my hand to my chest and whimpered.

"How…could you…do this…to me?" I asked through my sobs.

"I'm protecting you! You're better off dead!" I fell to my knees and screamed as the pain shot through my entire body. I raised my head to look at him. He was so perfect.

Edward had a look of disgust on his face. He turned his back to me and I reached my hand out to him. He began to walk away. I screamed his name and called out to him until he faded out of my sight.

"Bella, wake up! It's just a nightmare! It's ok!" Alice said as she lightly shook my shoulders.

I jolted awake and frantically looked around the room. He wasn't here. Oh god. Had he really left me? My heart began to ache again. I dropped my head back down to the pillow and covered my face with my hands. I let out a cry of pain and shook my head. Alice's cold hands gently rubbed my arms.

"It's okay, Bella. Everything is fine. It was just a bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?" Her musical voice was a gentle, sweet melody.

"He's gone isn't he? He left because I wouldn't marry him. I should have said yes. It's all my fault. He called me a monster. Am I really better off dead? I don't know what to do! I need him! I just want to die!" I croaked out.

"Isabella Marie Swan! Are you even listening to me? It was a dream! He did not leave! He is in the house talking to Carlisle! He wants to come down here right now, but I told him you needed some girl time and you do. Nothing is your fault. You are not a monster. You are most certainly not better off dead. You will not die. He didn't say any of those things. It. Was. A. Dream. Do you hear what I'm saying? Bella!" Alice nearly yelled.

I removed my hands from my face and stared at the wall. It took me a minute to process what she said. It was all a dream. Just a really, really bad dream. I let out a sigh of relief. I smiled up at her and she grinned back at me. My smile fell when I remembered what happened before I fell asleep. Alice tilted her head to the side and stared at me, confused.

"Alice, I thought I was dying. What happened?" I asked. She frowned and carefully sat on the side of the bed.

"Obviously you aren't dead. Are you in any pain?"

"You didn't answer my question" I scowled.

"Well you didn't answer mine either." She smiled brightly.

I narrowed my eyes at her. Did it really matter? I thought about her question for a second. I wasn't in pain. Well I _was_ in pain, but it was just the normal pain that I had to suffer every day. I smiled at her and shook my head.

"No more than usual. Why?"

"Good! That means that the pain medication is working." I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Oh, that's right. You don't remember do you?" I shook my head and her smile fell.

"Well you hit your leg with your fist. You tried to push Edward away which caused you even more pain. Then you started thrashing around in his arms. Now you have bruises on your arms from it. Edward's been moping around about it all day. He blames himself for it, but it was really your fault." She smiled at me apologetically and then continued.

"Anyways, you finally gave up against Edward. We were all in here by now. Jasper felt your pain and he had to leave. You were totally oblivious to anyone but Edward and Carlisle. A bone in your leg collapsed and if you would have kept thrashing then your entire leg would have collapsed too. I know it's a lot to take in. I'm sorry that it happened, but I'm glad you're not in pain." She smiled softly and patted my arm.

I glanced down at my left leg and sure enought it was in a cast. I frowned at it. Why did I have to inflict pain on myself? I sighed and raised my arms so I could investigate. I cringed at them. They were covered in quarter sized black and blue spots. Some bruises were twice as big and others were so small that they were barely noticeable. Edward would definitely blame himself for this. I would have to talk to him as soon as possible. I noticed that Alice was watching me closely. When I met her gaze she grinned. I was confused.

"Edward just went for a run so if you have _anything_ you want to ask me then go ahead. If you want to talk about it now is your chance." I detected how she stressed the word _anything_.

I only wanted to talk about one thing. I didn't want to die. There was only one solution to that.

"If I decided to go through with chemo do you see me living afterwards?" I asked her.

"Humph." She scowled at me.

"What?"

"I didn't see you asking that, but the answer is no. When you decided to do chemo in the beginning I saw you die, but then you changed your mind and I saw you become a vampire. I still see you changing into one of us." She grinned up at me.

"So you'll change me?" I asked her, but she only shook her head.

"Carlisle will. I already have a plan. Emmett's in on it too. I have everyone blocking their thoughts, but they don't know why."

"Thank you, Alice"

"Anything for my sister." She hugged me softly.

"Let's change your shirt so Edward won't have to see those bruises." She said to me as she pulled away. I had a problem though. I couldn't bend my arms without being in pain.

"Alice I need another favor."

"What is it?"

"I can't take off my shirt. It hurts to bend my arms." I felt my cheeks burn and Alice giggled.

"Don't be embarrassed Bella! I've seen you naked before. I don't mind."

She smiled and put a black long sleeved shirt in my lap. I carefully lifted my arms directly above my head. She lifted up my shirt and pulled it off. She gasped as her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with one of her hands. Her cold fingers traced my ribs and I winced. She quickly pulled her hand away. I looked at where she had traced her fingers and my eyes widened. There was a black bruise the size of Edward's hand.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't mean to hurt you." She apologized.

"No, no don't worry about it. It's my fault." I told her.

Then, the door opened and my head snapped up to see Edward standing in the doorway. His eyes took in my exposed chest and my face was burning. His eyes roamed my body and his eyes darkened in anger.

"Did I do that?" he asked

"No!" Alice and I said at the same time.

"I'm sorry." His eyes traveled to the window and he focused on the outside world.

"God Edward, shut up!" I yelled at him.

His eyes jerked to my face and he blinked. He was surprised by my tone and choice of words. I glared at him. I was sick and tired of him acting like everything was his fault. I had had enough of him degrading himself.

"Why don't you be a gentlemen and remove yourself from the room while Bella changes and gets ready for bed." Alice demanded.

I saw his eyes flicker to my chest before he left the room at vampire speed and slammed the door. I felt slightly rejected as I stared at the doorknob, but I was also grateful for Alice. She sighed and I felt her gaze on my face.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked.

"Not at all! I just wish I wasn't sick. Maybe Edward and I could…you know." I blushed.

"I know. When you get _better_, you two can do anything you want." By better she meant when I was a vampire.

"Thanks again." I told her.

"You're welcome! Now can I pick you up so you can wash off?" She asked brightly.

"Sure." I said to her as she slipped her thin arms under me.

I groaned when she lifted me from the bed and into her arms. She froze in alarm, but I told her I was fine. As Alice helped me get ready for bed I thought about what she said earlier. _Carlisle will. I already have a plan. Emmett's in on it too._ I smiled to myself, but I instantly felt guilty. I was going behind Edward's back again. We were both being selfish. He was desperately trying to keep me human and I was dying to spend eternity with him.

I thought about how close we would be when I was changed. He could hold me tighter. He could finally give me a proper kiss. He wouldn't have to worry about hurting me. I was already twenty. Our relationship was illegal! I had never thought about it like that. I didn't want to get any older. I was ready _now_.

Alice helped me back to my bed and told me to get some sleep. I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. I was tired, but I wasn't sleepy yet. My leg was starting to bother me more than usual. I would have to ask for more morphine.

"Bella?" My angel's voice brought a smile to my lips.

"Come here Edward." I said softly.

I closed my eyes and listen to his almost silent footsteps. I felt the bed sink as he sat down on the right side of the bed. His cold fingers traced patterns on my palm. I pushed away the guilt that began to creep up on me and focused on the feel of his marble skin against my soft flesh.

"Closer." I demanded. I felt him lay down next to me. I put my hand on his thigh and he froze.

"Bella." He warned. I opened my eyes to look into his. They were dark with desire. I grinned at him and he sighed. I breathed in the scent of his sweet breath.

"Relax. I'm not doing anything wrong." I told him.

His eyes narrowed. I brushed my fingertips up and down his thigh. He closed his eyes and swallowed. I stopped moving my hand and rested it on the top of his muscular thigh. I don't know what had gotten into me, but suddenly I wanted him more than I ever had. My heart started to ache at the thought of not being able to be intimate with him. My lips trembled and I felt a silent tear glide down my cheek. Edward opened his eyes and watched the tear fall. When it reached my chin he kissed it away and his lips lingered there.

"Why are you crying my beautiful Bella?" He asked me before his lips briefly pressed against mine. My throat was tight and I furiously blinked back tears.

"Because I need you." I choked out.

"You have me." He didn't understand what I was talking about.

"No I don't. I can't have you. My leg is in a cast and I'm sick. Don't you understand how this affects me?" I sighed.

"Oh." He said flatly. I had gotten the point across to him. That was a start.

"Isabella, what can I do?" He asked me. My eyes shot back up to his face. I didn't think he would give in so quickly.

"Make me happy. You can love me."

"I am loving you."

"That's not what I meant. I need you to show me, Edward." My cheeks felt warm.

I studied his face in the moonlight. His skin was glowing enchantingly. He was deep in thought as he stared at my hand still resting on his thigh. I continued to watch him in silence until he picked up my hand and kissed every one of my fingers and then my palm. He leaned over me and pressed his cool lips to my shoulder. He pulled away, but stopped when his lips brushed against my ear. I shivered.

"I can try, but I will not make you any promises." He kissed the top of my ear and then retreated to gaze into my eyes for a moment before lifting himself off the bed.

I watched him as he slowly began to unbutton his shirt, revealing the perfect contours if his pale white chest.

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**A/N: Hmmm. So what do you think will happen next?! I hope i did okay. Anyways, please review. That would be lovely. I probably won't update for awhile.**

**If you haven't read my other story "Losing The Last Goodbye" you should check it out. Keep an eye open for updates. :)**


	3. IMPORTANT Author's Note

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

**Dear Readers,**

**I owe all of you a BIG apology for what I'm about to do. I don't think this story is really all that great. It isn't really going the way I wanted it to. Although, that's not my point. Until further notice UTCSM is delayed. I'm not ending the story or deleting it any time soon. In fact, I plan on finishing it at some point. The reason it's being delayed is because of my enormous amount of school work and my volunteering. **

**I also need to write a story before Christmas. It will be posted on my Fiction Press account(go to my profile for the URL). It actually started out as an English essay, but my friend wanted me to continue writing it and I will. So now she's going to get a kind of short story for Christmas. **

**You can go on my profile/bio and add me on my space (it's my homepage) to stay updated with everything. I'm not going to delay LTLG because it should be a lot easier to write and update. Forgive me?**

**I also want to say a very BIG Thank You to all of my reviewers. You guys made me smile. I'm sorry the story has been delayed. Keep it on your story alerts though. That way you'll know when I start writing and updating again.**

**Sorry.**

**-Taylor**


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